His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
