Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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