Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
