He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
where am i from again
is wine microwaveable?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
