Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
NoShamevember. You game?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
