Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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