why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
