okay pat passed out under dana's car
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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