Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is my gift to your gina
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
