i would punch a child for taco bell
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
