If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
