Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
