Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
