Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
