She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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