so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
