I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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