no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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