Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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