she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we should paint friendship bongs
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