dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
