meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I smell stomach acid.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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