If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
