I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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