dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
