I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I will pee on everything he values.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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