Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
