all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
