420 ftw
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
