tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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