butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
