That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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