would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
