4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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