she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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