I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
