so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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