i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
