do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
