I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
