So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
