It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
