i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
