I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
40s are totally the cure
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
