you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
