Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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