Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
