finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
