i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
