I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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