What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
