Soap is not a condiment
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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