I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
