Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
